I normally write about motivation and success, but I’m going in a different direction today. Buckle up. You’re about to get the full tilt Tamara Lowe experience, which I’m always a little reluctant to let fly because, well, some people just can’t handle the truth.
Recently I’ve been barraged by inquiries from the media, seminar attendees, friends and family about the newest addition to our Get Motivated Seminar line-up: Olympian extraordinaire, Michael Phelps. Specifically, enquiring minds want to know, what do I think about Michael’s extracurricular activities in light of the now-infamous photo of him sucking on a bong? Hasn’t this guy completely discredited himself, disappointed his fans, and embarrassed the nation he represents? And is he still going to be allowed on our program?
The Get Motivated Seminar is known as the most coveted platform in the world of high-powered speakers. We’ve featured on our stage Presidents Reagan, Bush, Ford, Clinton and Carter as well as countless world leaders like Margaret Thatcher, Benjamin Netanyahu and Mikhail Gorbechev. Entertainment legends Charlton Heston, Christopher Reeve, Larry King, Bill Cosby and Johnny Cash have graced our platform. Sports superstars Mohammed Ali, Joe Montana, Mary Lou Retton, Kareem Abdul Jabbar, Jeff Gordon and Hank Aaron have spoken for us. So have Rudy Giuliani, Colin Powell, Michael Eisner, and Goldie Hawn. The list goes on and on and on. And will we now allow Phelps to join this elite group?
Breathtaking achievements notwithstanding, even among the list of luminaries I just mentioned, foibles and failings abound. One of our speakers “did not have sex with that woman.” Another leader of the free world actually shot his hunting buddy. One of our speakers has had a most notorious drinking problem. And yet another has been married so many times he has permanent rice marks on his face! What do all great leaders have in common with everyone else? Feet of clay. Our superheroes are frustratingly, irreparably human.
Believe me, I am not minimizing the magnitude of what Michael did. It’s disappointing on so many levels. Michael says he regrets what he did six months ago and I’m sure he does. But you know what? I regret things I did today-- and it’s not even noon! Already this morning I’ve been impatient and sarcastic. I also intentionally broke the speed limit, bought an overpriced pair of suede boots and ate chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. I make errors in judgment on a daily basis. And in all seriousness, I don’t want to add to my list of personal failings a rigid, judgmental hypocrisy that can’t show mercy to those who need it.
In spite of our own weaknesses we each have an incessant inner critic that loves to pass judgment on others: I can’t believe she did that! What a jerk!... Why did he marry her? He could have done better... That fat boy needs to lay off the donuts… Where do they hire these incompetents? Truckload of idiots…
I’ve got an idea. Let’s press the mute button on the inner critic and show a little grace. Here’s a thought: How about we let the law of love prevail?
My 15-year-old, Zack, brought home a detention paper from school yesterday. Yes, my 4.0 student, star football player and all-around terrific teenager that I brag about in my book, Get Motivated, is being disciplined for disrupting his class. Zack and his friends kept dropping their pencils and shooting rubber bands. When I was 15, me and my friends were dropping acid and shooting heroin. No joke. I’m not excusing Zack’s actions or mine, nor do I believe that we should give everyone a Get Out of Jail Free card. Bad behavior should incur consequences. I’m just saying, most of us need compassion more than condemnation.
The incident with Michael Phelps was very unfortunate, and I don’t want to diminish its severity. Michael broke the law and exhibited bad judgment. While I don’t condone his behavior, let me go on record as saying that I believe in Michael Phelps. He has some lessons to learn, but I trust he’ll use the same motivation he has shown as an Olympic champion into putting this sort of problem behind him.
Undoubtedly detractors will read this blog and completely miss the point. Rather than quieting the inner critic they will unleash the beast and insist that all sinners must be scorned and misdeeds punished to the fullest extent of the law, lest anarchy prevail. I love critics. Their haughty verbosity amuses me. Grace I have, but I’m still working on the sarcasm.